Birthday, big brother and weekly randomness

Hola folks of Blogville.
Took me a full week to get back. Not good.
Anyways, it was my birthday on Friday. Yep, the labour day. Always been awesome to have the day off every year. It was drama free (that's one check on last weeks to-do list). I was blessed with the best weather so far this year and for that I am grateful. It was quite uneventful, no party, no get-together, and no gifts except from my mom who gave me a 1 hour massage in a chinese place named Dragonfly. It was absolutely divine.
When we arrived, we were given silk slippers and silk robes and invited in behind the curtains.
I entered into a temple from ancient China! The floor was made as a bridge of huge rock tiles, on the sides they spread round shaped black stones and on top were lines of candles. In the centre of the "temple" was a huge pot with water running over on the sides into channels running to left and right. The walls had carved out rocks with images of flowers and Buddhas. It was completely quiet with subtle chinese music in the background. It was just great. I've gotten massages before, but this was on a whole other level. They put so much effort in the design and feeling of tranquility that it really made a huge difference.

My brother - not the one in jail - invited me out for lunch with his girlfriend on my birthday, the evening before the day. Me, always been the little sister looking for big brothers attention and recognition, couldn't say no. For those of you who've read my posts regarding my family from last year knows we have a troublesome relationship. He is my half brother, but I don't see him as that. I grew up with him in the same house. We're siblings! Most of the things I've gone through and seen in our home, he has too. We have a million things in common but still just can't get along. Not that we've ever had a fight since I was a tiny weeny lil girl, but he just does not care for me. I can count the times I've seen him for the past 7 years on two hands. I am 8 years younger than him, but my mother has always told me I am way more mature than him. I would agree. I have been through a lot more in my life than he has too. But all I've ever wanted was a big brother in him. He's never made an effort to be in touch, and whenever we do meet, he always talks to me with a condescending tone, making fun of nearly everything about me and my life with a stupid smirk on his face. This has lead to me feeling like a stupid, unworthy and annoying little sister whenever I'm around him. I KNOW I'm not, but he makes me feel that way. When I really needed his help a couple of years ago, when I was very young and he was already settled and I needed a place to stay, he completely rejected me.
See, my father has had a lot of issues - it's better now, but we had major problems and I couldn't stay at home. My glass was full the day he held me down and punched both sides of my jaw and sides of my face. I had had enough. I was hospitalized. I had a nervous break-down and they put me on anti-depressants. I had no place to go, and called my brother. Know what he said?

"I think you should just take your medicines. I don't have room for you. Stay in the hospital"

Yep. And a few years earlier, he had told me how I could come to him if there were any problems. He knew how my dad could be. There was no truth to that talk.
My brother seems to hate anything about me because I am the daughter of my father. Well, scratch "hate". Dislike. But I could have needed him plenty of times. Plenty.
Anyway - I am craving a relationship with him so badly I have been willing to put everything behind me for new beginnings. So - I thought his suggestion to take me to lunch was a great move and decided to trick my brain to forget everything from the past. Pretend he was a pleasant stranger I'd like to get to know. But the lunch was anything but nice. I tried talking about things concerning his life to get him to open up. You know, act interested? He did not ask a single question regarding me, my life or family, only talked about his apartments, trips, plans for new purchases etc. When I opened my mouth, he actually started texting his friends on his cellphone or even interrupted to talk to his girlfriend. I realised he had only invited me out to lunch because of GUILT. I have decided to turn him down next time he calls me. I will tell him: You know what, I would absolutely love to meet you. When you actually want to meet me. Not just to relieve yourself of your guilt. Ah!

Other bad news, my friend and her mother got cold feet AGAIN - so they will be moving back with Mr Sociopath. I got so upset. But all I can do is pray for her and her family.

Good news - we are travelling to Nigeria and I will book tickets today! Very happy about this.

Regarding my birthday, I would have liked to do a birthday post and was actually planning to, but I am feeling a bit short of words today. My resolution for my next birthday however is that I will have a little party. I deserve it. I haven't had one in almost 9 years or something. I want to feel the same birthday excitement I used to when I was little. I want to feel appreciated for one day. It'll be sweet!

I didn't manage to do everything on last weeks plan, but I had a drama-free birthday (inspite of the failed lunch), I filed my tax return, I kept in touch with friends, got the authorities to accept our travelling, slept nearly enough, stayed positive and kept myself somewhat updated on the blogosphere. Not bad!

New plan for the week (props to Blogoratti for this invention)
- Buy tickets for Nigeria
- Stretch every day as my physical therapist recommended
- Gym 2-3 times
- Healthy eating
- Positive thinking, no unnecessary addictive worrying, practice how to stress less
- Blogville
- Meet at least 1 friend
- Start reading a new book
- Apply for student loan
- Working on accepting the problems with my brother
- Try to get enough sleep

I wish everyone a blessed week. I am planning on more blogging this week than last, so come back with your comments, they make me so happy!