I wanted to bring up inter-cultural marriages and relationships. I used the term to include any relationship between different ethnic groups, belief systems and 'race' although I prefer not to use that word..According to scientists there are no such thing as race, only different versions of HUMANS which have developed as a result of evolution. I want to hear your opinions.
First of all, I am in an inter-cultural marriage myself. The other day at school, I ended up working in a group with a super-christian girl. I got the same old ignorant question:
"Can I just ask you something? How do you handle the cultural differences?"
Don't get me wrong. I know she doesn't mean anything bad with it. She's very sweet - but in my humble opinion - without her feet on the ground. Neither am I saying that it has something to do with her being christian, but from this part of the world, many of the, what I call "happy-christians" are very lovey-dovey, naive, sweet, but without a clue. She has no idea what the world is like, but wants to be a missionary. I don't like the concept of missionaring..I have never liked it. Doesn't matter what religion, I think it is crucial to respect each other and not force something, wheter subtle or directly, on someone else. I don't think that is the key to development. Whether people have practices that need to be abandoned or not, changing religion is not necessarily the solution, at least not for all. Anyway, I get that question from any one who secretly have a few prejudices. Fair enough. I give them the same answer every time:
Since we both have tolerance for each others cultures, since we are both open-minded and want to get the best from both worlds, the only problems we encounter are the regular problems husband and wives may encounter. Problems that may lie in the differences between the genders, rather than culture.
Sure, if I was a stuck-up patriotic nationalistic girl (which is impossible since I come from such a mixed background) we would probably be experiencing some culture clashes.
But doesn't everyone have to compromise in marriage and relationships anyway?
Secondly, I've grown up with friends from all over the world. Muslims, hindus, christians, buddhists. Some of them have had huge problems in their life down to the fact that their parents won't accept them being with someone outside of their religion/nationality/ethnicity etc. I know at least 3 girls who have fallen deeply in love with the right man, but he just happened to be white, or just happened to be pakistani while she was Indian, or just happened to be Muslim. They get torn between their feelings of loyalty towards their family and significant other, and ultimately have to make a choice. One muslim childhood friend of mine was with a Norwegian guy for 2 years. He accepted her wish to stay a virgin until marriage and embraced all sides of her moroccan culture. They were planning to get married. But he honestly confessed that he couldn't put his hand on his heart and say he believed in Allah. So it ended.
`Many of the girls I know, simply can't imagine being with someone from their own nationality. They are just not attracted to them. This includes my bestfriend. Thank God her parents would accept it, although with difficulties. But how about the stories of all these other families who are willing to KILL their daughters for finding a man outside their ethnic group?
Personally I think we all need to get over these old ideas. We live in a globalized world, and humans have emigrated and immigrated since the crack of dawn, actually since we all emigrated from Africa ;-) I do understand the other side..Sometimes they are due to years of war and conflicts, sometimes for the intent of preserving their nationality and culture etc. but also sometimes out of pure prejudice. Nevertheless - the most important thing to parents should be their son's or daughter's happiness, not the appearance of their partner.
Have a nice week everyone!
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