Inter-cultural marriages and relationships

>> Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Happy new month everyone. I am craving for some personal updating on this blog but I think I will save it for next time.
I want to say express my opinion on inter-cultural marriages and relationships. FYI; I use the term to include any relationship between different ethnic groups, belief systems and 'race' although I prefer not to use that word..According to scientists there are no such thing as race, only different versions of HUMANS which have developed as a result of evolution. I want to hear your opinions.

First of all, I am in an inter-cultural marriage myself. Long story short; the other day at school, I ended up working in a group with what I call a super-christian girl. I got the same old [ignorant] question from her:

"Can I just ask you something? How do you handle the cultural differences?"

Don't get me wrong. I know she doesn't have any bad intentions with her question. She's very sweet - but in my humble opinion - not very grounded. Neither am I saying that it has something to do with her being christian, but from this part of the world, many of the, what I call "happy-christians" are very lovey-dovey, naive, sweet, but without a clue. She has no idea what the world is like, but wants to be a missionary. Sorry, I don't like the concept of missioning..I have never liked it. Doesn't matter what religion you have, I think it is crucial to respect each other and not force something, wheter subtle or directly, on someone else. I don't think that is the key to development. Whether people have practices that need to be abandoned or not, changing religion is not necessarily the solution, at least not for all. Anyway, I get that question from any one who secretly have a few preconceptions[-judices]. Fair enough. I give them the same answer every time:

Since we both have tolerance for each others cultures, since we are both open-minded and want to get the best from both worlds, the only problems we encounter are the regular problems husband and wives may encounter. Problems that may lie in the differences between the genders, rather than culture.

Sure, if I was a stuck-up patriotic nationalistic girl (which is impossible since I come from such a mixed background, lol) we would probably be experiencing some culture clashes.

But doesn't everyone have to compromise in marriage and relationships anyway?

Secondly, I've grown up with friends from all over the world. Muslims, hindus, christians, buddhists. Some of them have had huge problems in their life down to the fact that their parents won't accept them being with someone outside of their religion/nationality/ethnicity etc. I know at least 3 girls who have fallen deeply in love with the right man, but he just happened to be white, or just happened to be pakistani while she was Indian, or just happened to be Muslim. They end up torn between their feelings of loyalty towards their family and significant other, and ultimately have to make a choice.
`Many of the girls I know, simply can't imagine being with someone from their own nationality. They are just not attracted to them. This includes my bestfriend. Thank God her parents would accept it, although with difficulties. But how about the stories of all these other families who are willing to KILL their daughters for finding a man outside their ethnic group?

Personally I think we all need to get over these old ideas. We live in a globalized world, and humans have emigrated and immigrated since the crack of dawn, actually since we all emigrated from Africa ;-) I do understand the other side of things..Sometimes they are due to years of war and conflicts, sometimes for the intent of preserving their nationality and culture etc. but also sometimes out of pure prejudice. Nevertheless - the most important thing to parents should be their son's or daughter's happiness, not the appearance of their partner.

Have a nice week everyone!

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