Quick fix ? Or maybe not?

>> Wednesday, June 10, 2009

*DISCLAIMER* So , I know this is a little long, but encourage and challenge you to read anyway.

So, we have reached the middle of yet another week.
Time goes by fast - we are soon in the middle of June and already the middle of the year.
How are you spending your time? Are you taking advantage of every moment? Are you on the right path in life? Where do you see yourself the next 5 years?

I think these are important questions to keep in mind as we live. Every day I see people who make the wrong choices complain about how their life is turning out, while at the same time they're not really that disciplined with themselves.

I want to talk about what I personally call The Long Road Vs. The Short Road. Call it whatever you wanna call it. You can also call it The Long Tunnel Vs. The Short Tunnel. Or Shortcuts Vs. Endurance.
What is the wisest thing to do when you have two choices. You weigh the pro and cons on both sides. Hence the 'versus'.

A lot of people seem to continue living a life filled with shortcuts. My arguement is that this rarely ever works any good. I want to encourage everyone to be strong and disciplined instead. There are plenty of examples that choosing the short road leads to failure.

- You feel like crap. You're depressed. You decide to go get drunk, or start smoking weed, or start taking drugs, or pretend to yourself you don't have any problems. All of these "solutions" will never make the problems any better, it's just a big time waster. In the end, however long it takes for you to live in that denial, you will surely realise that it wasn't the right way to go. The next day you wake up with a massive headache, feeling even worse about yourself, or you drain your brain away, gradually. You end up worse than where you started.

- You are dissatisfied with your financial situation. You want to save money for something big like getting your own house, getting a car, putting yourself out of debt or renewing your flat. Because you feel like crap, you go and buy a bunch of new clothes and spend your entire months pay ( I know someone who just did this ). As a result, money you could have saved is gone. Again this is a time waster.

- Deep inside you are lonely and wish you could find a bestfriend and lover to share your life with. Because you're too scared to deal with your own issues and get real, you end up sleeping with lots of men/women. Maybe it gives you a thrill and loads of confidence. Maybe you're too scared to invest in a real relationship, so you bail everytime things get too serious. Maybe you're too afraid of commitment and responsibility. Maybe you just want to "have a good time". In the end that good time - what of substantial value did it give to you?

There's plenty of more examples.
The common denominator is that they all involve A QUICK FIX but always PROLONGS whatever problem it is you are dealing with. You are in denial, stealing precious time from YOUR LIFE. Time you could have spent more enlightened in truth.
You can always put it off and say you will deal with it tomorrow or next time. Stop and think.
It always becomes "next time". Do it TODAY. Do it NOW.
Sooner or later, you will realise you were just wasting your time because you were too afraid to do what was right. This is a fact. And by sooner or later, "later" can mean 1 month or 50 years.

I'm inspired by watching all the people in denial around me. All the guys who are around 30 and still not doing anything with their lives. They go back to Nigeria claiming they're God's gift to women. Or all the people who gets involved in drug business to make quick money but end up dead. One guy was recently arrested in Germany and died in prison 4 days later - they're bringing his dead body home. All the examples I've given, you might think does not apply to you, because you're not a womanizer, not a maneater and you're not doing anything illegal. But this applies for any small petty issue as well.
We all have our issues, we are all imperfect, we all have stuff we need to WORK on.
You know deep inside that you're procrastinating so much it's effecting your life negatively.
You know carry too much jealousy within.
You know your insecurity is just a bit too much, and drives your boyfriend/husband away.
You know you're being greedy.
You know it's not right to cheat on your wife and it will only lead to more problems either within you or in the rleationship.
You know you're being so controlling you do not allow yourself to try new things.
Etc. etc.
Yet we keep denying it and pretend it's not a problem, that it's others that need to fix their problems, instead of working on ourselves.

Not working on these issues is what keep us making mistakes in our relationships with other people, is what leads to failure on different levels in our lives.

What I am talking about is all kinds of temptations - the temptations to take the easy way out, the quick fix. And my point about it is, if I have not already said it clear enough, that it always extends your misery. You think you're shortening it, while in fact you are prolonging it.

When I was 14 years old, my classmates started smoking, having sex and going to parties getting drunk. I didn't care whether I fit into their standards or not, I kept working hard at school. They thought I was stupid. Why didn't I want to "enjoy" ? Today I am doing well while most of them has gone nowhere. Some got their first kid at 15, some failed in school and continue spending their parents money on partying. But when their parents die, what are they going to do? How are they going to master life when they have not been taught the slightest of responsibility? Another one is a big super model in NY. I see pictures of her on FB - she's anorexic thin, always with a drink or a cigarette in her hand. Some might view that as successful, but I think she struggles, and after her prime time is over she'll fall into a deep pot hole.

My mother said to me "The one who laughs last, laughs best" - There is a similar Igbo proverb that goes "The patient dog eats the fattest bone" . I swear to this rule.
It is sometimes hard as hell - I've been lonely, I've cried, I've struggled. But I know I am better off like this. I am not a follower. Don't be afraid of a little mental struggle. It seasons you and makes you stronger and full of character. You always come out on the other side. Don't be afraid to do YOUR THING. Do not wait until it is too late.

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akaBaGucci June 10, 2009 at 2:37 PM  

very well said.. and spot on.. quick fixes only appear to solve the problem.... the wounds stay fresh and fester until they break out like gangrene..

We all have our issues, we are all imperfect, we all have stuff we need to WORK on......Not working on these issues is what... leads to failure on different levels in our lives.

I needed this kick in my rear end!

chayoma June 10, 2009 at 2:49 PM  

control freak right thurr.....

i needed this.
right on the money

posekyere June 10, 2009 at 3:11 PM  

There you are! Adaeze.
This post is incredibly loaded with nuggets.
I am coming back later after work to peruse.

juiceegal June 10, 2009 at 3:12 PM  

Wow Ada its like you were speakin directly to me..........hw did u know i needed dis??? lol
Everythin you said is really true,very well written and seriously speaking,thanks for this..........heres an e-kiss for u....mmmmmmmwaaah.

blogoratti June 10, 2009 at 3:51 PM  

Problems cannot simply be wished away,nothing can be farther from the truth.
I can relate with some of the things you've pointed out. Better to do something right at first than to come back to it in the end.

Good job. Thanks for sharing your thoughts*

Funms-the rebirth June 10, 2009 at 4:14 PM  

QUick fixes are not permanent, we always find ourselves at the beginning, sometimes a lot worse.... a really simple example is taking diet pills and not exercising or eating healthy.... the pills may make u lose weight in 2 weeks, but u will gain it back, feel tired and be worse off

babajidesalu June 10, 2009 at 4:50 PM  

You spoke from the heart lady....

You must have been really inspired for you to have touched on so many issues all in one post. That was quite inspiring and yes, I got a few points to take on board. Thank you.

God bless.

BSNC June 10, 2009 at 5:26 PM  

i needed to read this. Thank you soo much really.

Nana Yaw Asiedu June 10, 2009 at 6:28 PM  

Maybe your real gift is communicating with the soul. This was so deep and so true. That about the futility of quick fixes, and about doing 'Your Thing'. About procrastination too. Thanks, Ada. It had personal importance for me, as you promised.

leggy June 10, 2009 at 6:33 PM  

lol...short cut..really.people cant do things the long way they want it fast fast and it just pisses me off eh...if u get money through a stupid way ur nt going to spend it on anything meaningful either.mschewww.

posekyere June 10, 2009 at 6:44 PM  

Yes. I am back.
You have a good heart.
Such wisdom cannot come from mere knowledge. It has to come from a stream of accumulated observations and life lessons deep-seated in your heart.
As a Christian, I consider this post as a sound evangelical teaching. You may as well be a Pastor.
Bless you, Adaeze!!!

yankeenaijababe June 10, 2009 at 7:29 PM  

wow!!! very inspiring and true. You said it all

Adaeze June 10, 2009 at 8:19 PM  

@ akaBaGucci - that's another, good, way of saying it. I'm happy I could help out and thanks for stopping by!

@ Chayoma - I'm glad :-) Thanks

@ Juiceegal - Aww thank you dearie. I'm glad I could assist you. Keep it in mind! Don't forget or procrastinate ;-)

@ Blogoratti - Wow unusual long comment from the Blogoratti :-P You said it well. And thank you for your warming compliments.

@ Funms - Exactly.. This rule applies to everything..simple and complicated.

@ Babajidesalu - Haha..I've been inspired for a LONG time trust me..Since I was like 13 I've had these thoughts central in my head. I'm glad I could return the favor to you.

@ BSNC - Wow, thank you too for making me feel better right now with your compliment..I was kinda bummed out!

@ Nana Yaw - Abi? I am especially happy what I said can help you somehow. Your comment really warmed by heart - I'm having a bad day and this really helped. Its a confidence boost for me to get so much positive responses for thoughts Ive kept bottled up for years..i'm a philosopher in this way..

@ Leggy - yeah , it pisses me off too to be frank with u..At the same time I can understand.

@ Posekyere - Glad you came back! And wow i am on cloud 9 (isn't that what you said once? ) from all your flattering. You read me right. I realise this is very preacy, it's such a big part of me and has developed naturally as I grow..I keep on having new ideas and realisations all the time. I am very happy to be able to share it with people who appreciate it on this blog because I've kept my peace for years... you might be surprised I wasn't raised in any religion huh? Lol... Bless you too Posekyere I appreciate you.

@ Yankeenaijababe - I am happy whenever I hear from you. Tried to get to ur blogs but never worked. I remembered you when I wrote this, because ur also very inspiring!

Nana Yaw Asiedu June 10, 2009 at 8:41 PM  

Not just a philosopher, Ada, a friend, teacher, map, compass, balm, balsam, chastener, etc etc. Don't feel flatter. Feel spurred on to share more of these gems with us all.

StandTall-The Activist June 10, 2009 at 9:31 PM  

This is filled with so much inspiration. It's the truth, a quick fix in fact makes things worse cuz it depends on what you think your are fixing, when and how.

To take ones time in sorting out situations one finds oneself is always the best.

I was told by someone that a particular person drinks cuz he lost his job. I wonder how drinking to stupor will fix him a new job and make him richer... you know is def compling his issues.

Thanks for being a changemaker.

Adaeze June 10, 2009 at 10:06 PM  

Aww Nana that just might be the most fantastic compliments I've ever heard. I can't help but feel flatter, but I do also feel spurred to share more :-) Just takes the right mood sometimes plus a chunk of time.

@ Standtall - Yeah, that story is exactly the kind I'm talking about. I thank you for being a changemaker too!

Gochi June 11, 2009 at 10:46 AM  

Ada thanks for ring.

I suffer with the disease called procrastination and woke up this morning kicking myself again but thankfully it is something i'm working on.

"We all have our issues, we are all imperfect, we all have stuff we need to WORK on......Not working on these issues is what... leads to failure on different levels in our lives".........True

Omo Oba June 11, 2009 at 1:12 PM  

hm. The powerful thing about this is that you have a story to also share and are real about it - "I've been lonely, I've cried, I've struggled."

Sir Scribbles II June 11, 2009 at 3:42 PM  

Firstly I will apologise for not landing here earlier..I am sorry lol

Now this is a very inspring piece of work, true talk all through. Thank God it's not only me who sees these things cos they eat pple up inside...I loved it

justdoyin June 11, 2009 at 3:49 PM  

hmmm...veeeeery thot-provoking post...

Jaycee June 11, 2009 at 4:04 PM  

I love this post soooo much! The temptation is always there...for us to take the easiest way out.

But endurance trains our character in life...

tobenna June 12, 2009 at 10:21 AM  

Inspired I am, Ada.
Well written.

Good Naija Girl June 13, 2009 at 8:36 AM  

This was beautifully written and motivating. I had started reading but wanted to save it for a time where I could read the whole thing in one sitting.

Did the motivation for this post come from your comment on TTEC? I thought your comment there was well written.

I am so thankful that my parents drummed in our heads that it is important to do the right thing, and not seek the easy way out, or worry about following the crowd. At the end of the day I'd like to be able to hold my head high and be proud of most if not all of my decisions and actions.

The journey of someone doing the right thing isn't always easy like you said, but in the end, it is worth it.

I need to learn to stop procrastinating! All that wasted time should have been spent accomplishing some of my goals that have been on my list for years.

Adaeze June 15, 2009 at 10:08 AM  

@Gochi - You're welcome.. I hope it helps for something! The good thing is that you're working on it. As long as we are aware of problems we can always fix them!

@ Omo Oba - You are the first to mention that and for that I am grateful :)

@ Scribbles - No problem, I am glad you have found my blog now ;-) I'm glad u see it too

@ Justdoyin - I'm glad I could contribute with something :-)

@ Jaycee - wow this is ur first time here :-) Thanks for stopping by.. I am glad you loved this post, the queen of writing inspiring posts...

@ Tobenna - thank you. Appreciate that.

@ Gng - Aww girl thank u for always taking the time to read my posts and write long comments. I love love love that and appreciate it so much. My motivation actually didn't come from that TTEC, but sure that one inspired me too. I've been thinking to write this for a long time and I am more inspired by people around me in real life, but remindedb y things i read in the blogworld too. I am so thankful I learnt this from my parents as well. We are blessed. Stop procrastinating! Just SNAP out of it! lol..that's just me trying to be motivational: I wish U the best dear.

Enkay June 15, 2009 at 12:35 PM  

Hey! I just got back only to find you've done 3 posts in the past 1 week!

Your post rings so true!
My mom did a good job of teaching us that short cuts only lead to more work!

Every Saturday, she shared out our portions of housework. Cleaning, scrubbing, washing...you get the drift.

We'd hurriedly do a 'quick' job of it so we can watch TV. When she gets back, she painstakingly inspects our work and more often than not, we are dragged by the ears to come start afresh and do it right this time!

It didn't take long for us to realise that it pays in the long run to take our time to do the right thing the first time around. Somehow, it has spilled to other areas of our lives.

Like you said, no one's perfect. We still try short cuts from time to time and get burned!

Thanks for sharing!

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