Sisterhood part 1

>> Friday, March 11, 2011

When I was growing up, I never was much liked by my fellow female peers. I got better along with the boys, being quite a tomboy back then. I was bullied a lot too, especially by girls. They can be so mean sometimes, can't they? They would always throw comments at my apperearance....spider legs, freak, fatty, horse hair, etc. My hubby says it must have been cuz they were all jealous? I don't know. I still do not have enough confidence believe that. I tended to be wiser than my age and act maturely, so I'm sure some of them felt intimidated. I'd never get involved when they were throwing comments, even when they hit me and spit at me, I would usually remain quiet. Occasionally, I would say something in the lines of "Really, you are so low that you have to attack people to make yourself feel better?"
My mother taught me to always look beyond the surface. "Remember that some of those girls, they are victims of broken homes and a lack of parental supervision, they're insecure and angry with the world". That they were probably feeling bad about themselves, that's why they attacked me. That I shouldn't cry. Cuz I sure came home crying for about 2 years. They used to prank me in front of the boys, make sure my underwear showed without my knowing, and spread vicious rumours. And I can swear until this day, I never did anything to ever piss anyone off. The only thing I did, is that I went in when they were bullying other, less confident kids than I, and told them to lay off. It's funny, because till this day, I don't really feel like I have half of the confidence I should have, even though I seemed to have it back then.

Throughout the years, I built many friendships with girls. I never had a sister, and I always dreamt of a bestfriend. I had many. All of them used me and threw me away. When I was a teen, I thought something must be wrong with me. Why does no one like me? , I used to ask my mom. My mother always said, don't you worry, when you grow a little older, you will finally meet someone who matches you. They will have grown up by then. And I have! I have several good girlfriends that I can trust and confide in, one of the most special ones even being someone I "met" here in Blogville! She's become like a big sister to me, and one of the other ones is like my twin. Someone who is just as tall as me oh! Yeah, that is hard to find. Ya'll don't know how difficult that is. Lol.

Being deprived of true friends for so many years, this is what I appreciate the most in my life right now. It's the greatest blessing. Sisterhood among women. It is truly special. Participating in Blogville daily reminds me of that. There are a few men among us, but most of the bloggers are female, and I feel such unity among us. Also, the International Women's day was just this past week. We must remember that this is still a very central and important cause to fight for. And most of all, we must remember to never be bad to each other, because we too often turn on each other. Snatch each other's husbands, become the lover of someone elses boyfriend, humiliate someone in public, look down on a beautiful girl out of jealousy...spread rumours and think badly of a girlfriend that happen to have something you wish you had. We should keep ourselves too good for this! It is only our sisters, who knows exactly what us women have to face and go through, but also how gracious and beautiful we are. We bear children. We raise them. We become the rocks and pillars of our families, for our husbands to hold on to, so they can step into the world every day, even after a moment of weakness, appearing like strong successful men. We multi-task and multi-manage everything in households, we love and create love. We endure and sacrifice for our loved ones. We bring understanding and compassion when we're abused by males.

Some of us might not feel it as much as others, but I try to stay aware of all the things we have to face as women. I have experienced hands on, maybe one of the worst, and most common crimes against women; rape. It's so much more common than we know. But how about the smaller things? Having to endure men treating us like pieces of meat in the market on a daily basis, being talked to in derogotary terms, and having to fight our way through the work market, to be respected for our intelligence and not our looks. In the most developed countries in the world, women still do not get equal pay. How about being called baby? Sugar? We are really being infantilized when people (who do not have the right) choose to force on us these names and change an otherwise neutral situation into having more sexual undertones.

We should remember what women before us have gone through, our mothers and great grand mothers, and stick together and love our sisters, no matter what color, this is something we share, this sisterhood. Its easy to forget, and see another woman as an enemy, but if we stick together, we are more likely to grow stronger. Too many of us face troubles we should not face, if our men were more understanding and respecting of our worth. Sticking together we gain a louder voice.

So, this was my post in spirit of International Women's Day. I'll follow up with an interesting fact I recently learned. Let all our prayers go out to all the victims of the earthquake and the tsunami. And lets not forget the most recent victims before them, who the media are no longer giving attention - Haiti. They still need our prayers.

P.S - Regarding my tattoo everyone requested to see, I am still contemplating whether to reveal it or not....


Madame Sting March 12, 2011 at 1:38 AM  

I was too engrossed in trying not to fail to pay attention to international women's day. I don't have a lot of female friends. Funny, i usually have one or two close female friends at a time. Last time i had a best friend was in JSS 2. Like you, i've had bad experiences and i'm so cautious these days but i love people so i remain hopeful for that female best friend. I'm comfortable were i am now sha, i don't worry too muh about it.

How u dey now? Any progress on those big moves u need to be making?

Miss Enigma a.k.a UnderCover07 March 12, 2011 at 3:24 AM  

I want to see ur tattoo :D
Happy International WOmen's day in arrears!! ((Hugs))

Myne Whitman March 14, 2011 at 5:36 AM  

This is a great post, the spirit of the women's day continues through the month. I wish you the best of it.

Enkay March 14, 2011 at 7:54 AM  

Like you, I value friendships a lot but I happen to have been blessed by quite a few really great ladies in my life and some of them I have met right here in blogville *wink*.

My heart goes out to the victims of the Tsunami in Japan. Really sad...

Funms-the rebirth March 14, 2011 at 8:55 PM  

Great post.....i saw myself in it.....i never had a sister, was more of a tomboy and i've gone through so much with female friends just cuz i craved to have a bestfriend that could be like my sister....i learnt a lot
and now i'm happy and blessed with the few friends i have grown to appreciate....i'm older, and wiser

Adaeze March 15, 2011 at 2:08 PM  

Thank you my sweethearts for all sweet responses. I am glad to hear some of you can relate. I am older and wiser too Funms..and Sting...ah I dont know if I've gotten much closer. Time will tell! Enkay, lovely to see u back :D

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