The meaning of my tattoo

>> Sunday, March 6, 2011

I got my first tattoo last year. It is a quite large back piece - covers my left shoulder from the edge of my arm to my neck. I am not a fan of having tattoos all over, especially not meaningless ones, but this one is something I felt like I could stand for. I wanted it to be a constant reminder to me - that I must not let myself be defined by fear. The tattoo is symbolic, it's a special orchid that always blooms, over and over, in spite of not being watered for long periods. On the orchid is a butterfly, breaking out of it's cocoon, flying away. I wanted to force myself to remember to not let my choices be so defined by what I am afraid of. To take life by it's balls. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Life's a bitc*, be it's pimp.

Most of us like comfort. However miserable the comfort is, it's still comfort. Have you thought about that? Some of you are lucky enough to be where you want to be, but some of us are still far from that spot. How do we get to it without letting the challenges get the best of us? How often do we convince ourselves that our current situation is okay, just to make it bearable, while there is a silent voice in our head screaming that we want to try something else? It could be changing career paths, or changing education, it could be getting out of a relationship, or moving out of your family's home before they want you to. It could be getting a job instead of looking for a husband against ur mothers wishes, it could be moving out of the country.

My comfort has been pretty miserable, so I am terrified, absolutely petrified of ever letting that go (without explaining what 'that' refers to in specific)to venture out into the world and try something new. But I will because I only have one life and I have to at least try, no be so? Why am I afraid to leave the comfort? Probably because I am so afraid to fail. But what if my fear is also to succeed? What if I am so used to taking care of others and being sad that I have no idea how to live another way? How do I handle that? That's just me. I am strongly determined to take life by it's balls no matter what it is I am so afraid of. I intend to move to New York all by myself, all alone and make it on my own. There, I said it. I know that's what I need to do for myself. I need to practice living my life for myself and nobody else, free from interruptions and distractions. I need to prove it to myself that I can survive alone (because I am terrified of being alone). No, I am not getting a divorce o, not yet (I'm not saying I will or never will, I don't know what the future holds but I pray for the best).

Anyways I wanted to encourage everyone else to look inside themselves and find what it is they have always wanted to do, but always been too afraid to do. Don't let it stop you, because when we finally grow old and wiser than we are today, we're probably going to regret it.

10 comments:

Funms-the rebirth March 6, 2011 at 12:34 PM  

was expecting a picture of the tattoo :(
planning on getting one this year....i have it picked out already....

i agree....we should never let fear hold us back in pursuing our dreams

Mrs Newlywed March 6, 2011 at 5:21 PM  

WOW! very inspiring quote. As far as this world turns, things will continue to turn around with it. When you are trying to find your self it is sometimes better to leave your comfort zone. In order for growth to take place, it must bust through barriers. Think of everything God made and its growth process. Right before it springs-forth, it takes the most drastic step with all its energy, and busts through the barrier that has been separating it from moving forward. EX: plants, childbirth and birth of most kinds.
So, fear is very normal but use it to fuel your energy to bust through not withdraw. Fear is not of God, it is the devils tool to prevent us from where God wants us to be in most cases.
:)

Repressed One March 7, 2011 at 4:45 AM  

LOL@ funms! I was totally expecting a picture of the tattoo too :|

"I am strongly determined to take life by it's balls no matter what it is I am so afraid of." ---Thats solid...very admirable! I wish you all the very best.

I pray things get better btw you and your hubby.

jhazmyn March 7, 2011 at 11:39 AM  

"But what if my fear is also to succeed? "

i can relate to this...seems to me like you're breaking through so here's me cheering you on...Keep being strong girl

Jaycee March 7, 2011 at 7:51 PM  

Was also expecting the picture. Lol. Show us now...

bob-ij March 9, 2011 at 8:41 PM  

I'm usually not a fan of tattoos either but the inspiration for it makes it such a special thing. I'm trying not to let my fears stop me either. That's why I got a hair-dye. I realize I need to live and and learn...

very nice post
~x~

Yankeenaijababe March 10, 2011 at 12:25 AM  

Girl, you have to post the tattoo picture before I comment on this post cos am seriously wondering what the tatoo looks like...don't keep me waiting o, lol

Great post by the way, am finding myself this month, March is truly my month of reflection...:=)

Enkay March 11, 2011 at 12:45 PM  

Yeah, I agree, a picture of that tattoo won't be bad.lol!
Most people get tattoos for the fun of it but it's really nice to know that yours has a meaning and an inspiring one at that.

Hmmm...I should probably get one too.
:)

Tisha March 11, 2011 at 3:47 PM  

If i got a tatoo, it would be a mark of Jesus Christ.

Whatever, i'll do something i have been posting real soon
Can't think.

Good Naija Girl March 29, 2011 at 7:06 PM  

I'm the eldest in my family and my brother (who I've blogged about before) is the youngest and he continually teaches me about not being afraid to follow dreams or just try something! I think a lot of people aren't sure what their exact dream is but just feeling like they're free to explore options and try things out would be a huge breakthrough.

I am afraid to spread my wings and leave my safe place, my cocoon. I constantly need reminders like yours that this is something worth doing before it's too late. Thank you, Adaeze.

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