Adaeze is back to find herself

Hey everyone. I am back. To stay now, I claim...
Do I still have any followers who will notice? I hope.

Either way, I am hardcore determined to keep this blog going now. Recently, I have been trying to read up, gradually, on a few blogs, and I have been inspired and reminded to get back into the game.

There has been many times that I wanted to post, but felt reluctant to do so because I feel like it's time I have something like a theme - some consistency - instead of chit chat about anything and everything. But since I am going through something I think merits the term identity crisis I find it hard to figure out. I am confused about most things in my life, so this is not exactly the best time to concentrate on a central theme on my blog. I would love to get your opinions, if you end up reading this.

I am fiercely passionate about politics, culture(s), art, music, languages, history, Africa and all of the forementioned within her. I am very opinionated, but sometimes shy to express my views. I want to improve that. So there are obviously many things I can blog about, but my confidence to do so is quite low at the moment. At the same time, I have a personal need to express all the ish I don't get to in my everyday life. Adaeze is a strong tigerwoman. Focusing too much on her life's possible tragedies, there simply is not enough time for. Chop chop, things must be done. No room to stop and stare at my current condition, even less to formulate opinions about it. If I was to, I probably would break down and not get things done. But it would be healthier for me to get some kind of outlet, wouldn't it?

A lot has happened in the past year. I have been extremely busy getting my university degree, working and being a wife in a rocky marriage. I am less than halfway through my degree and I am starting feel like it's time to speed up the process. At the same time I have run into my second life crisis. I was wondering if I had hit it before, but now I know for sure. My quarter-life crisis. I suddenly doubt everything and everybody. Well, it is not so suddenly, but it feels that way. Am I even getting the degree I should be getting? A lot of this is connected to the fact that my marriage is stumbling at the edge of a cliff. It has caused me to question every part of my life and my decision-making pattern.

Adaeze used to have such a good idea of who she was. Of what she wanted to be. In fact, she always did, before anyone else. Now I feel like a huge question mark in personification.

So - My Idea is to blog about something as clichèd as finding myself. Again.

BUT - I feel like that is incredibly self-centred and I wonder how any readers would ever be interested in reading about that. Or is just that a reflection of my current low self-esteem?
See. Lesson number one about Adaeze's state of mind - one of the most recognizable characteristics in this state of confusion is that I am incredibly indecisive. I don't want to write too personal because I don't think that's...cool. At the same time, I need to. I think I need to blog in order to, and about, finding myself. Do express your opinion if you have one, please.

All this being said, I have missed all of you! By no means I am any less busy, but I have a new commitment to blogging this year so I intend to keep updating and also reading as much as possible. A sincere yhank you for taking the time to read this!

LOVE,

Adaeze