Adaeze is back to find herself

>> Thursday, January 20, 2011

Hey everyone. I am back. To stay now, I claim...
Do I still have any followers who will notice? I hope.

Either way, I am hardcore determined to keep this blog going now. Recently, I have been trying to read up, gradually, on a few blogs, and I have been inspired and reminded to get back into the game.

There has been many times that I wanted to post, but felt reluctant to do so because I feel like it's time I have something like a theme - some consistency - instead of chit chat about anything and everything. But since I am going through something I think merits the term identity crisis I find it hard to figure out. I am confused about most things in my life, so this is not exactly the best time to concentrate on a central theme on my blog. I would love to get your opinions, if you end up reading this.

I am fiercely passionate about politics, culture(s), art, music, languages, history, Africa and all of the forementioned within her. I am very opinionated, but sometimes shy to express my views. I want to improve that. So there are obviously many things I can blog about, but my confidence to do so is quite low at the moment. At the same time, I have a personal need to express all the ish I don't get to in my everyday life. Adaeze is a strong tigerwoman. Focusing too much on her life's possible tragedies, there simply is not enough time for. Chop chop, things must be done. No room to stop and stare at my current condition, even less to formulate opinions about it. If I was to, I probably would break down and not get things done. But it would be healthier for me to get some kind of outlet, wouldn't it?

A lot has happened in the past year. I have been extremely busy getting my university degree, working and being a wife in a rocky marriage. I am less than halfway through my degree and I am starting feel like it's time to speed up the process. At the same time I have run into my second life crisis. I was wondering if I had hit it before, but now I know for sure. My quarter-life crisis. I suddenly doubt everything and everybody. Well, it is not so suddenly, but it feels that way. Am I even getting the degree I should be getting? A lot of this is connected to the fact that my marriage is stumbling at the edge of a cliff. It has caused me to question every part of my life and my decision-making pattern.

Adaeze used to have such a good idea of who she was. Of what she wanted to be. In fact, she always did, before anyone else. Now I feel like a huge question mark in personification.

So - My Idea is to blog about something as clich├Ęd as finding myself. Again.

BUT - I feel like that is incredibly self-centred and I wonder how any readers would ever be interested in reading about that. Or is just that a reflection of my current low self-esteem?
See. Lesson number one about Adaeze's state of mind - one of the most recognizable characteristics in this state of confusion is that I am incredibly indecisive. I don't want to write too personal because I don't think that' At the same time, I need to. I think I need to blog in order to, and about, finding myself. Do express your opinion if you have one, please.

All this being said, I have missed all of you! By no means I am any less busy, but I have a new commitment to blogging this year so I intend to keep updating and also reading as much as possible. A sincere yhank you for taking the time to read this!


Madame Sting January 20, 2011 at 5:59 PM  

Hey girl, Long time. I recognised the name immediately as i know i knew but didn't really associate it to this blog until i clicked over. Good to have u back. Of course we want to follow you on your journey through self-discovery and whatever else you are trying to work through.

I sincerely hope that everything works out for you. Don't disappear on us again o!

Good Naija Girl January 20, 2011 at 8:44 PM  

Welcome back!

Blogging is free therapy, so I recommend you share what you feel like sharing and don't worry about being perceived as being self centred because no one will be thinking that! The best blogs are the ones that talk about what you know and what do you know better than the topic of you (hehe...or you'll know yourself very well again by blogging!)?

I wish you all the best...I especially hope that your marriage would get sorted out in a good way.

SHE January 20, 2011 at 8:48 PM  

Correct, GNG.
Blogging is therapeutic. And, who knows, you may end up helping someone else find themselves.

Welcome back.

Myne Whitman January 20, 2011 at 10:39 PM  

Welcome back and please be yourself and use the blog as you will, it's yours after all.

I pray your marriage is healed. HUGS.. January 20, 2011 at 11:25 PM  

Welcome back, now stay! Good luck.

Jaycee January 21, 2011 at 1:06 AM  

Welcome back, Adaeze. I'll be reading as you find yourself again. Take it slow. Slowly, but surely, you'll find purpose and meaning in everything. Consistency is key, don't give up even if your circumstances want you to.

Be extremely patient with your marriage. It will be well as long as you're determined. :)

Sankofa January 21, 2011 at 4:35 AM  

Welcome back!

Feel free to blog about whatever you want. It's YOUR blog so it's supposed to be self-centred. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.

Yankeenaijababe January 21, 2011 at 6:10 AM  

@Ada Eze

...OMG! longest time girl...Seriously just be yourself as GNG said, I love you either way whether you rant or not...just love ya, welcome back my friend and Happy 2011 to you...don't worry of anything, we all passing through a phase and it's all temporal, be you, do you, hang in tight...hugs!

Gochi January 21, 2011 at 1:24 PM  

Welcome back!

Its your blog and your prerogative, I do hope you get all the answers to all the questions you ask yourself.
Self Discovery is mind boggling I'm on such a path but still heavy in denial to acknowledge.

I do hope your able to work everything out, your life, marriage and school.


jhazmyn January 21, 2011 at 2:21 PM  

First of all WELCOME BACK dear...been a really long while

Do take your time ok, I guess we all go through phases in life the most important time is that we come through at the end of the day...We got ur back dear...((Hugs))

doll January 21, 2011 at 4:42 PM  

welcome back. i hope all is settled in your marriage soonest

Adaeze January 21, 2011 at 4:52 PM  

Awww you guys are the bestest and sweetest :-)nah I am here to stay now so I am not going to disappear. I am really glad to be back and I appreciate everyones good wishes and support so much...
One thing that is confusing me a bit though is that I have a hunch some of you have changed your blognames AND screennames and I feel like I know who you are but I am unsure. So if you read this, please share :-)

StandTall-The Activist January 22, 2011 at 6:56 PM  

See many cooments here already spoke of how you were missed and how we felt about you. You are one strong woman that will always rise above tribulations. Welcome back dear.

Gee January 23, 2011 at 5:36 AM  

Welcome back hun!!!
Thanx for stopping by(hope I added to ur inspiration for comin back o-LOL) and its good to have u back, we better keep our "Im back" promises o! hehehe---nd about ur "rocky" marriage, hope it becomes amazing and u'd share such good news with us here!

Guro January 24, 2011 at 10:20 PM  

Good to have you back! Looking forward to read your posts :)

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