>> Monday, May 9, 2011
Man, I feel so guilty. I never read any blogs, nor do I update. Any blog recipe says "UPDATE YOUR BLOG REGULARLY AND OFTEN". Am I a failure in that regard? Yes, I know I am. It's just, I am a prisoner of my concience, as I wrote in an earlier post, and I feel guilty to just post and post when I haven't had the time to read any of yours..plus I feel like I don't have the time to write either. But I will do better soon enough, just let me finish my exam. So just a little note, I haven't forgot, and I will do a thorough read-through as soon as I can. After all, there are so many gorgeous blogpost-pearls out there to be missed.
Lately, work has been piling up on me, even on weekends ( and that's just my job) ...my studies is a whole different chapter of calamity. My exam is in 2 weeks and 3 days. Until then, I will be an energy drink junkie high on...books. I don't know where to find my energy, my spunk, my motivation.. but I have to study anyway. I don't know what's wrong with me, cuz I'm usually an over-achiever aiming for the top grades, and I get stressed if I haven't revised perfectly. And I am nervous.
At the same time, I just can't be bothered with this stupid studying! I am tired of calculus and algebra. I am tired of graphs and inexplicable language, complicating things for no reason. I'm tired of microeconomics and macroeconomics and models and equilibria and all that ISH. I'm tired of squeezing my brains until it comes out my ears to try to understand something I just don't get. I'm more tired than anything else, of not having the time to study. Of not having the luxury of the ability to FOCUS.
And eating?`Sheesh. I either eat crappy food or don't eat at all, my only non-guiltcreating pursuit is eating sushi. And now I'm going to have to buy energy drinks too (which I hate and think is really unhealthy) because I have been falling asleep on my desk lately. Yes o, I can't believe it. Usually, when I fall asleep in a place that is not my home, my subconcious doesn't allow me to fall deep asleep. I'll wake up at the littlest sounds. But now, I am completely out of it for an hour on my table. When I wake up, I've either drooled over my "pillow" (read:sweater folded) or my arm is 'asleep' (read: full of needles pinching me) I guess this is what we go to school for.
(Oh and at the risk of sounding unappreciative P.S : I do truly appreciate you taking time to read and comment on my neglected blog in spite of my shining absence from yours)