Family formalities?

Hello Beautiful people of Blogville!

*Phew* I need to take a breather, seriously. Who got me running around the way that I am these days..¨



First of all you guys asked for an update. I have reported the madman to the police. Did so the day after I posted. They seemed to take it seriously enough, but apparently there will be nothing they can do unless I get some more contact information on the guy. I don’t know his full name, phone number or location. So I am doing my small small research here and there.. will keep you guys updated. I have to admit I am a bit frightened. They said if they catch him, am I willing to go to court with it to get him convicted. I said yes, but honestly it scares me. I have no idea what this madman might do. I mean, if you are just as obsessed with me after not seeing me for 6 years something is seriously wrong with you.. If you don’t mind screaming loudly in public you’re going to kill me, something is NOT right with your little head. Yeye man..

Now, on to what I wanted to talk about today.
Any of you who regularly reads my blog knows I don’t really have a great relation to my family.. My one brother is in jail, my other brother doesn’t care and my half sister doesn’t really care either. It’s caused me a lot of pain. At the same time I think it’s given me a unique outside-looking-in-perspective on family matters.





Family is blood. Pure and simple. Family is supposed to be the most important thing in the world. It still is to me. But I have learnt in my life that true family isn’t always your blood. Sometimes the fact that someone is your family can turn you blind.

Have you heard the saying “Friends is the family we choose ourselves”? I

have come to see that my real family isn’t the family who stuck up for me. My real brothers never cared for me, but my brother in-law is my bestfriend and would kill for me. My extended family never helped me when I needed them, but my friends did.


I have come to notice lately that people allow family to get in the way, way too often. I know people might want to attack me for saying this but it really is true sometimes.



I have two very close friends who both are very close to their immediate cousin.
Both of them have been bestfriends with their cousin all their life, they’re like sisters.

They look alike, they’ve grown up together, shared everything.

For a long time, I wished I could have had something like that. Grass is always greener on the other side.

However now, both of my close girlfriends are going through hell because of their cousins.



Friend 1 has kept lending her cousin money over and over, and over. The girl never pays her back. She does it because “she’s family”. Now friend 1 is in major DEBT because of this girl. Secondly the girl broke their whole friendship by ditching her for a guy. Lending her money is only a technicality, my friend has done so much for this girl. True sacrifice. And the girl, no matter how sorry I feel for her, is just sucking her dry.



Friend 2 has risked her whole education and reputation for her cousin, just to bail her out of trouble. She introduced her to the man who would become her fiancé. Now the cousin didn’t even invite her for the wedding. My friend had to hear about it from someone else. Can you imagine? And nothing wrong happened between them before that FYI.


Because someone is “family” you end up accepting a lot more crap from them than you ever would from anyone else. Sure, you are supposed to accept more from them, that is what makes them family, but that doesn’t mean there are no borders.

I am not suggesting that my friends should cut relations with their cousins, but if someone is taking advantage of you, you shouldn’t allow them to continue taking advantage of you just because they’re related to you. Family IS family, YES, but don’t be silly about it. If someone is seriously jealous of you and is trying to put hindrances in your way, back off and stop giving this person your trust just because it’s “family”. If the person you're related to is blinded, you owe it to him/her, as family, to show them some boundaries so they won't mess up even more.


I have seen examples where family can be the people who do worse things to you than a stranger ever could. Take the story I’m writing in my other blog for example. It’s a true story. Should those kind of things be forgiven or forgotten, just because it’s family? For those who haven’t read – a boy loses his father, his uncle is involved in the murder, the father's family take all their properties and put them out on the street and never looked back. In this kind of serious case, I do not think that this uncle even deserves to be regarded as family what so ever. There are limits.

In my book, for you to be considered as true family by me, you’re going to have to earn it. I’ll give you a chance, I’ll fight for you, but if you keep on using me, my generosity will decrease. My brothers and sister is still my family. I will never give up on them. But I will not kill myself just for you to look at me and notice my existence. I am not a doormat.


Those who know me know I am one of the most generous and giving people around. I am extremely patient and I can do a lot for you. Because I care. But growing up has taught me to not be stupid. Too many people have taken advantage of my kindness. Therefore I needed to adopt a meaner attitude.





Please, do go and check out my other blog http://nosugarcoatin.blogspot.com/

It feels very cold and lonely over there, only one comment, lol.
Thank you Posekyere. I know Nana you are coming so this is not for you, lol.

Who else is watching Michael Jackson’s memorial tonight/today? I am still so sad about it. Whenever I remember, I get shocked. Michael Jackson is actually dead. There will not be another one like him. Rest in peace.





All the best to all of you!