Bye ( for now )

I'm leaving on an aeroplane! Yes I am. I have fear of flying, so pray for me please? I don't want that thing you-know-what *Crossing fingers knock on wood*

I will miss blogville so much while I am away. As everyone knows, Internet connection is hard to come by and frankly I do not have the patience to sit in a cafe for 1 hour only to get up one page..that's what happened last time.

I apologize for not being able to follow up enough on blogs..The last two weeks have been very, very busy. But you are all on my mind, I have not forgotten!

So, give me about a month, and I'll be BACK, hopefully to my regular self able to stay up to date.

don't forget me o!

special shout out to Nana Yaw Asiedu, Enkay (wink wink ;-) ), GoodNaijagirl, Posekyere, Writefreak, Aloted, Funms rebirth , Lady X, Jhazmyn, Nef, Blogoratti, akaBagucci, Rose, Scribbles, SASSY trends, Standtall, Jide Salu, Tunrayo, Nice Anon, Original Mgbeke, Lolia, Undercover 07, Tigeress, Pink Satin and alll the rest of you. Mwah mwah.

I needed to edit this post and add that I am so very thankful for all of you. How could I forget to say that. Being part of Blogville has given me so much. It has changed me to a better person, I am not as afraid to voice my opinion anymore. I have grown my writing skills. I have made great friends. I have gotten so much love. And all the support and encouragement you have all given me with my story I posted 2 weeks ago was PRICELESS. The love going on here is a testimony to how many good people there are out there and that is so encouraging! Bless you ALL!

If I've forgotten anyone I apologize, I haven't really forgotten I'm just writing this my last 5 mins at work and have to run


LOTS OF LOVE,

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Please care: Child Witches

I started hearing about the stigmatisation of ”Child-witches” a good while ago, but only a few days ago did I watch the documentary “Saving Africa’s Witch Children” by Channel4. It was heartwrenching to say the LEAST. I couldn’t help but start crying!
This tiny little absolutely beautiful girl, who could only have been 5 years old had been accused of poisoning her little sister. All the villagers were shouting at her and telling her how they were planning to kill her with a machete. Her parents would not defend her, no one would! The people of Stepping Stones Nigeria and CRARN tried to reason with the people, but there was no reasoning with them. The man said to them that he would most definitely kill her that night. She was standing there, skinny, all alone, crying whilst biting her nails, confused looking from person to person not understanding a thing they were talking about.They were screaming and pointing on her talking about how she was evil and a witch. The men from Stepping Stones and CRARN had to save her and she had to escape from her own family with only a plastic bag on the top of her head.




The belief in witchcraft is widespread in the Niger-Delta, most especially Akwa Ibom State and Cross River state. The children are especially vulnerable for being suspected as witches. The orphaned children are even more at risk. There are hundreds of thousands of HIV/AIDS Orphans in Nigeria, in fact the UN estimates it at nearly one MILLION. These kids have suffered enough as it is, losing their parents and being left to live on the street. On top of it all they are subjected to abuse, rape and trafficking. Children are being trafficked to Europe and other African countries, for hard labour or prostitution. This IS MODERN-DAY SLAVERY.
Let me quote some of the information being given on the Stepping Stones website:
The deeply held belief by the people of Akwa Ibom State and the Efik speaking communities in Cross River State cuts across all tiers of society. Widely read and travelled academics and local villagers fear such children. This fear stems from the belief that a spiritual spell can be given to a person through food and drink. The soul of the person who eats this spell will then leave the body to be initiated in a gathering of witches and wizards. The initiated person will then have the power to wreak havoc, such as causing diseases like HIV/AIDS, malaria, hepatitis, typhoid, cancer. All accidents, drunkenness mental health problems, smoking of marijuana, divorce, infertility, and misfortunes are seen to be the handiwork of witches and wizards. In recent times it is believed that children have become the target for initiation by the elderly witches as they are more susceptible to their spells and are quicker in action.

What are the suspected child-witches subjected to?

Some of them are buried alive, some of them get slaughtered. Others get poisoned and bathed in acid. The “less” awful ways of punishment is being chained and tortured in church in order to extract confessions from them and being isolated and ostracized from their communities.

This is nothing ABSOLUTELY DREADFUL.

Stepping Stones Nigeria is an NGO that fights for these children. They’re fighting to provide welfare and education to the children, to save them from these dangerous situations and to restore their happiness and health, and help heal physical and psychological damage done to these innocent children.
The belief in witchcraft, most especially child-witchcraft is a nonsensical belief funded on ignorance. The disintegration of families and poverty contributes to the problem as people are looking for someone to blame for their misfortune. At the same time, there are greedy religious leaders who profits from this. There are numerous “pastors” who are gaining economic wealth from branding children as child-witches.

Recently, there’s been a campaign of terror against the partner NGO of Stepping Stones, the Child Rights and Rehabilitation Network Centre. “Police officers” from Lagos came to the CRARN Centre claiming to be donors, but shortly after arrested two staff members and beat up the children! Stepping Stones believes this to be a direct response to the documentary. The documentary highlighted HELEN UKPABIO, a self-proclaimed pastor and founder of the Liberty Gospel Foundation Church. The documentary also brought up how her film production company, Liberty Films, have contributed in spreading the belief in child-witchcraft. She is behind the Nollywood film “The End of the Wicked” which is a movie about child-witches that graphically shows the acts of such “witches”.She has since filed legal complaints against CRARN.

Please, do NOT just read this post and not do anything. There are many things we can do. We can simply not just stand by and watch. I know one can feel powerless, like there is nothing that can be done. But there are plenty of things that can be done that would only take 5 minutes of your time and cost no money.

Most people have been upset by Michael Jackson’s death and the media has highlighted his life and works for the last couple of days. In the spirit of Michael Jackson; who did all he could to help the world and first and foremost cared about the welfare of children, DO what he would have done. It is only when thousands of people speak up that this monumental challenge can be overcome.

This is what you can do:

* Donate your old mobile phone
* Donate your old Laptop
* Spread the word – Join the facebook group and sign the online petition, get others to do the same
* Request a talk at your church, youth group or school

Click this link to get simple instructions how to do the above

And LETTER / E-MAIL WRITING

This is a technique that has been used for many years by human rights organisations such as Amnesty International and it HELPS. It is especially important that we act now with the recent attacks on the NGO-workers. There are 3 things you can do:

- Write a letter/e-mail to your closest Nigerian Ambassador
- Write a letter/e-mail to the inspector General of the police in Nigeria
- And even more simple : SEND A MESSAGE ON FACEBOOK TO THE GOVERNOR OF AKWA IBOM STATE.

I know this sounds like a big deal but it really isn’t and it WORKS.

We need to join our voices together to help these innocent children.

Stepping Stones have already written finished letters that you can simply edit and put your name on it. That’s it, 1-2-3!

So Click the above link to do your share.


Come on, this will only take you 5 minutes. If you can spare the time to turn on your computer, read someones blog entry, sign into facebook and watch your friend's updates, you can do this too.

Anyone reading this is blessed enough to be safe, secure and financially well off enough to have the access to a computer. These children who are not even grown up enough to understand the world around them are fearing for your their life. Put yourself in their shoes! Share the blessing God has given you and do what you are capable of. These children are not capable of defending themselves.

Thank you and God bless

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Family formalities?

Hello Beautiful people of Blogville!

*Phew* I need to take a breather, seriously. Who got me running around the way that I am these days..¨



First of all you guys asked for an update. I have reported the madman to the police. Did so the day after I posted. They seemed to take it seriously enough, but apparently there will be nothing they can do unless I get some more contact information on the guy. I don’t know his full name, phone number or location. So I am doing my small small research here and there.. will keep you guys updated. I have to admit I am a bit frightened. They said if they catch him, am I willing to go to court with it to get him convicted. I said yes, but honestly it scares me. I have no idea what this madman might do. I mean, if you are just as obsessed with me after not seeing me for 6 years something is seriously wrong with you.. If you don’t mind screaming loudly in public you’re going to kill me, something is NOT right with your little head. Yeye man..

Now, on to what I wanted to talk about today.
Any of you who regularly reads my blog knows I don’t really have a great relation to my family.. My one brother is in jail, my other brother doesn’t care and my half sister doesn’t really care either. It’s caused me a lot of pain. At the same time I think it’s given me a unique outside-looking-in-perspective on family matters.





Family is blood. Pure and simple. Family is supposed to be the most important thing in the world. It still is to me. But I have learnt in my life that true family isn’t always your blood. Sometimes the fact that someone is your family can turn you blind.

Have you heard the saying “Friends is the family we choose ourselves”? I

have come to see that my real family isn’t the family who stuck up for me. My real brothers never cared for me, but my brother in-law is my bestfriend and would kill for me. My extended family never helped me when I needed them, but my friends did.


I have come to notice lately that people allow family to get in the way, way too often. I know people might want to attack me for saying this but it really is true sometimes.



I have two very close friends who both are very close to their immediate cousin.
Both of them have been bestfriends with their cousin all their life, they’re like sisters.

They look alike, they’ve grown up together, shared everything.

For a long time, I wished I could have had something like that. Grass is always greener on the other side.

However now, both of my close girlfriends are going through hell because of their cousins.



Friend 1 has kept lending her cousin money over and over, and over. The girl never pays her back. She does it because “she’s family”. Now friend 1 is in major DEBT because of this girl. Secondly the girl broke their whole friendship by ditching her for a guy. Lending her money is only a technicality, my friend has done so much for this girl. True sacrifice. And the girl, no matter how sorry I feel for her, is just sucking her dry.



Friend 2 has risked her whole education and reputation for her cousin, just to bail her out of trouble. She introduced her to the man who would become her fiancé. Now the cousin didn’t even invite her for the wedding. My friend had to hear about it from someone else. Can you imagine? And nothing wrong happened between them before that FYI.


Because someone is “family” you end up accepting a lot more crap from them than you ever would from anyone else. Sure, you are supposed to accept more from them, that is what makes them family, but that doesn’t mean there are no borders.

I am not suggesting that my friends should cut relations with their cousins, but if someone is taking advantage of you, you shouldn’t allow them to continue taking advantage of you just because they’re related to you. Family IS family, YES, but don’t be silly about it. If someone is seriously jealous of you and is trying to put hindrances in your way, back off and stop giving this person your trust just because it’s “family”. If the person you're related to is blinded, you owe it to him/her, as family, to show them some boundaries so they won't mess up even more.


I have seen examples where family can be the people who do worse things to you than a stranger ever could. Take the story I’m writing in my other blog for example. It’s a true story. Should those kind of things be forgiven or forgotten, just because it’s family? For those who haven’t read – a boy loses his father, his uncle is involved in the murder, the father's family take all their properties and put them out on the street and never looked back. In this kind of serious case, I do not think that this uncle even deserves to be regarded as family what so ever. There are limits.

In my book, for you to be considered as true family by me, you’re going to have to earn it. I’ll give you a chance, I’ll fight for you, but if you keep on using me, my generosity will decrease. My brothers and sister is still my family. I will never give up on them. But I will not kill myself just for you to look at me and notice my existence. I am not a doormat.


Those who know me know I am one of the most generous and giving people around. I am extremely patient and I can do a lot for you. Because I care. But growing up has taught me to not be stupid. Too many people have taken advantage of my kindness. Therefore I needed to adopt a meaner attitude.





Please, do go and check out my other blog http://nosugarcoatin.blogspot.com/

It feels very cold and lonely over there, only one comment, lol.
Thank you Posekyere. I know Nana you are coming so this is not for you, lol.

Who else is watching Michael Jackson’s memorial tonight/today? I am still so sad about it. Whenever I remember, I get shocked. Michael Jackson is actually dead. There will not be another one like him. Rest in peace.





All the best to all of you!

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Stalker

Hello people, how una dey?

My last week or two have been MAD. One disaster upon another.
British Embassy done STEAL our tickets and don't want to give them back.
Have been trying hopelessly to get in touch with them, but all you get is someone saying they do not receive phonecalls. They tell you to call something called Worldbridge, but I swear, I think Worldbridge consists of a bunch of Indians sitting in Mumbay trying to answer phone calls. How could tey possibly know where my tickets are?!

Then the Norwegian embassy in Abj. have closed their visa section temporarily until further notice. Have you heard such nonsense? My hubby's visa/green cart isn't valid anymore. THe gov is processing a new one, but it takes 6 months, so we needed to get a temporary one in order to reenter the country. But now they've closed. I am worried.

These are just my practical problems, on top of that add family car accident and family divorce.

The worst is yet to come. Yesterday, my stalker found me again. It's not funny at all.
There's a man that's been obsessed with me for the past 6 years. I used to know him, but not well. I had to change my phone number six years ago due to all his harassing. He somehow put this idea in his head that I am his property and that I have spat on his pride or something because I got married to someone else. I thought he'd given up. That it was over. BUt yesterday he nearly assaulted me on the bus station. He came up from behind and started talking . I firmly said that I DID NOT want to talk to him, get away etc. and walked away. He started screaming 'You F'ing Dirty Whore, Cu**' etc, etc. Really, really nasty words. The people in the store I was in realised there was trouble and told him to go. He started arguing with them. Then they said they'd call the police and he continued cursing me. He then said 'You just wait, I'm going to kill you. I'm going to kill you both. We will meet!'

I'm upset and angry. Pissed. I'm going to the police now to report the sick bastard. Now I have to be scared to take the bus? Nonsense. I refuse to allow him to control my life. I pray this week can finally lighten up and get better.

I want to say I am grateful for having wonderful friends, a wonderful mother and a father who now helps me out anytime he can I am truly blessed.
I especially want to highlight my best friend. I finally talked out to her about my rape yesterday and she was more supportive than anyone has ever been. It felt so good and I am so thankful.

Oh yeah, check out my interview on Standtall's blog and my updated story.
I am still sorry for not having replied comments and really done a proper bloground..it will be done but as you can tell, drama came for me this week.

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Chapter 4 dimples and wrinkles

Hey everybody

Massive thanks for all your support and big apology for not keeping up with your blogs! Lotsa drama lately. Meanwhile I have finally updated my other blog, so please go and check out chapter 4! I will reply to all your comments soon!

http://nosugarcoatin.blogspot.com



Love,

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