A total UN-gentleman

A couple of days ago I made a mistake.

I had an old friend on Yahoo-messenger whom I'm not really in contact with any longer. The man asked me how me and hubby was doing - I said that hubby has been quite stressed recently (this was my mistake - WHY did I share that again?!!). I don't know, I was tired and didn't really think it through.


The man said "Well, maybe he's stressed because of you..." I just lol'ed it off like it was a joke because this person knows nothing about my personal life, and said he wouldn't know what the reasons of my hubby's stress was - I was feeling just a tint annoyed...
He responded
"Oh, so I can see you have a voice now huh...". What's his problem?

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've always had a voice, and a strong one too...What do you mean by "voice" anyway?". I should have just logged off then, but I hate to admit I have a devil in me that loves winning an arguement over a chauvinist..

Anyway we continued bickering, and somehow started talking generally about men/women and he ended up giving me this statement:

"Well, whenever a man's stressed it's always cause the woman is doing something wrong. Men should always have the last word anyway, they make all the decisions and they're better at it" What?
Mind you I had not told this person anything at all from my personal life after the initial mistake..
I could feel my blood starting to boil. I asked him how he could be so judgemental and say something like that and the reponse I got was just "hahahahaha!". OK ! Now I was ready for some a**whipping.... lol

First I thought ok I best just get away now cause I get too emotional about these things...- but decided I need to learn how to keep my cool and finish someone off with killer-arguements and logic - not being over emotional and annoyed. It's quite satisfying winning a discussion about core principles with style.


Me: So you don't think men and women are equal then?

Him: They most definitely are not.

Me: How can you, a man of the 21st century, say something like that? You're young, you got an education, and you still think like that? Why? Don't you think it's a bit prehistoric? Where's your evidence anyway? (Yeah I know I was wrong to be surprised..)

Him: Because it's in the Bible. God said so. The woman came from a man. Men are the rulers. Men are the strongest and know how to do things better. If what I'm saying wasn't true, no women would seek the protection of men. Men are the ones that do all the important things, like going to war.

No you DIDN'T?

No need to write down the rest of the arguement, but it was a bit heated....
The more reasonable arguements I brought, he continued to try to end the discussion by saying "Well, women and men are not equal, end of case, you can say whatever you want." and "Your ideas are just European feminist views. It's a European invention"
I informed him my viewpoint isn't only feminist but also humanist. Meaning: We, human beings are all equal, no matter gender, ethnicity or nationality, sick or healthy. When I talk about equality between men and women I am talking about EQUAL WORTH. Not saying we stand shoulder to shoulder when it comes to physical strength. He kept on saying that women are made for certain roles. Men that have this point of view simply pisses me off. Who are they to tell me what my limitations are??
He also said that I should show him any couples where the man and woman are equals that actually works.
Anyhow, he completely failed to keep the discussion reasonable and went on to personal attacks way beside the point. Which usually means the person is getting frustrated that he/she doesn't have anything to say in defence because the opposite arguements are overwhelmingly strong.


First of all, the fact that men and women naturally have different roles have nothing to do with equality. We are all worth the same regardless!
Saying that women aren't equal, is just like blowing off the millions of women since the beginning of time who raised our children. It's like saying their work isn't important. It's also blowing off all the women who fought for more rights and paid with their life.
Countless women have survived and lived and provided for their families without a man. For this guy, having different roles was the same as not being equal. Talk about simplifying and mixing up the meaning of words.
That being said - nothing is going to stop me from doing the typical "man-jobs".
All women can do whatever they want and they are fully capable of it. The only reason why they don't is because 1)It's not their personal wish, or not suitable for them at that point in life (f.ex they're busy taking care of their kids or 2)They've been brainwashed to believe they can't do it. It's never because they are unable. Being a woman is a strength not a weakness.
However each couple/family decides to settle the divison of labour is their choice. If a woman likes to stay at home, do the cooking and everything in the house, that's fine. Because it's her choice. Not when she's forced to it because some man wants to say that's what she was born to do. I can agree that it's natural for men and women to have different roles, but it should be their own choice and don't ever come and tell me a woman has limitations...
The feminist battle is first and foremost a battle to have the freedom of choice. That doesn't mean it's compulsory to be a rebel.

I informed the guy I thought he was a total hypocrit. Because the same values founding the thought that women are born inferior is exactly the same values that fuels racism. It's exactly the same type of logic. There's absolutely no physical evidence of it and is a ridicilous belief founded on fear, ignorance and having to step on top of other people to feel better about oneself. People also need to stop using religion as "evidence" to continue promoting these ideas.

Physical strength or appearance has nothing to do with worth at all. How about respecting our other strengths? Our mental strength ? Being the glue that keeps families together? When I said all this he got really annoyed and said "I'm not a dumb ass ni***. Great. Clap for yourself hun. You used the N-word, NOW you win the arguement. Yet another ignorant statement. Why use the n-word about yourself and your people. Disgrace.
Just like MLK and Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela & Desmond Tutu and countless other figures fought for freedom, rights or independence, women have done a lot of the same. To have the rights to vote, the right to go to court, the right to divorce an abusive husband, the right to speak up when getting raped. And we still have a long way to go all around the world, both with women rights and trying to end discrimination. The two fights aren't exactly the same, but they share a lot of the same principles and details. So many people have sacrificed their life so future generations could get a better future with more opportunities. It's so ungrateful to not have that in mind. There was a time the common view around the world was that a woman was unfit to vote, being just an emotional creature. Yes. That's the words they used. Thank God we have moved on from then.

Ok I guess this is enough..Had to get it off my chest. I realise it was a strong one, and hope no one will misunderstand anything I said..don't have time to read it over too many times, lol.

Honest Scrap coming up! Hope everyone is doing fabulous.