Late night questions

>> Friday, February 6, 2009


I'm a thinker, always have been. It's been keeping me up at night for years. I finally resolved my worst sleep issues about 1 year ago, but for the past 3 weeks they've come back.
I'm ridiculously tired, still, I just CAN'T sleep. As if my thinking wasn't bad to begin with, this just leads to me pondering and thinking even more. Lately I've also discovered new feelings and fears I've never had before. I'm not sure if they are age appropriate. At the same time I know my weakness and strength in life is pushing myself. Hard.

These are some of the things that have taken up attention lately:
- Time. Goes by so fast. How do I maximise the time I have of each day and week? What do I need to do in order to feel I've taken the most advantage of the time I have? How do I do everything that needs to be done and still have time left for me? How can I also do the things I want to do and also fulfill my duties as a citizen, wife and daughter?
- How far to go. I suffer from the conscience syndrome and good-super-responsible-girl syndrome. I have a natural instinct to help. Anybody. First and foremost family and other close ones. I believe it's good to go a little bit out of your way for people. Although not always. Doing only what is the minimal requirement is not always going to work. But how far is acceptable to go? Is there a universal limit or does it depend on my own strength? Always caring and being there for family is a rule of life to me. But how far do I go in order to help? How much should I sacrifice before I give up? Is it acceptable to ever give up? How much do I do for you and how much should you do for yourself? Where is the limit between helper and enabler?
- Long-term future. How do I find the balance between achievement, ambitions, responsibility, wishes and personal needs?
- Keeping in touch. How do I stay in touch with friends, when we are all consumed by life's chores and duties?
- Relationship perfection. One of my conclusions in life is that no relationship is perfect. They all require patience, time and trust. But where's the line between patience and stupidity?

These are just a few. I have some answers, but most of them are not definite. I'm not sure they ever can be until I reach 90. I hope to discover more of them as I grow older.

2 comments:

Enkay February 9, 2009 at 7:59 PM  

Hi. First time here. Been doing some blog rounds lately and stumbled on yours.

Questions, questions, questions...hmmmm. they'll never end but we all sure will understand more as we grow!

Adaeze February 10, 2009 at 1:22 PM  

Indeed. Thanks for visiting my blog Enkay, I hope you'll come back.. I'll be sure to visit yours :-)

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